Things 30-something me wishes 20-something me understood…

“You are not an emotionless overly intellectualized robot. Being human is about emotion and just because you lack an adequate emotional vocabulary it does not mean you don’t feel.”

Advice to 20 Somethings.jpg

“Nothing matters. Bummer. Either become a pile of shit about it or realize the power behind that knowledge.”

This post is not really for anyone but myself. But since this is my echo chamber allow me to shout as loud as I want:

  1. Self knowledge is the only way to undo the damage done by years of self indoctrination at the hand of your superego’s tormentors.
  2. Acting from a place of authenticity and true self knowledge is the key to contentment.
  3. Contentment is the goal since it is a steady state not happiness which is by definition the juxtaposition of the norm and therefore a fleeting state.
  4. Chasing and trying to extend happiness will only dilute moments of true happiness and leave your wanting to chase happiness more (making you a slave to it).
  5. Be compassionate to those that are enslaved by the tormentors of their superego for we were all there at some stage (some may never leave that state).
  6. You are not an emotionless overly intellectualized robot. Being human is about emotion and just because you lack an adequate emotional vocabulary (due to childhood conditions) it does not mean you don’t feel. To be human is to feel and it is where all the magic is at, sorry intellect.
  7. You have a right to have feeling, regardless of it’s ‘perceived size’…
  8. You never have to diminish or suppress feeling based on the narrative your super ego is flooding your mind with.¬†Feelings are not comparable and have no ‘size’…
  9. You have a right to express your feelings as long as it is in a responsible and respectful way. Never feel compelled to suppress what you believe and feel at your core.
  10. Be kind with thoughts and ideas especially towards yourself. Be mindful of it at all times.
  11. You are already broken so stop trying to be this ‘perfect’ thing that is not achievable, interrogate what shaped that ‘perfect’ idea and see it for the ugliness it is.
  12. Be mindful of how anger, greed and disillusionment manifests images and situations that deprive true self knowledge.
  13. Never try and force someone to be what you want them to be. Doing this will eat away at the core of that person and will spread seeds of discontent. This is especially true in relationships where it is easy to want to manufacture whatever messed up image your superego has concocted for you about what a ‘relationship’ should be.
  14. The world is transitory and nothing lasts. As such change is a given. Growth on the other hand is optional. Embrace change as a tool to foster constant growth.
  15. Avoiding change means you essentially get to relive the same predictable experience over and over till you die. This is obviously not an awesome use of your time here so explore what is making you cling to that comfort zone so much.
  16. Change needs to come from a place of true self knowledge to be effective. Otherwise it is probably being driven by some narrative playing in your head that could be rooted in something that is probably a lie.
  17. Nothing matters. Bummer. Either become a pile of shit about it or realize the power behind that knowledge. Use that power to make the most meaning out of the time you have in this fleeting emergent experience. Discover meaning in that and enjoy how little it actually matters in the greater scheme.
  18. A healthy body and mindset is a prerequisite for a content soul. Contentment cannot exists in a toxic body mind chemistry.
  19. Never live with the dogma and thoughts of others.
  20. Don’t attack the dogma of others unless they try and force it on you or if it is visibly damaging others. Put differently if someone gains happiness out of their beliefs it is not your place to try and destroy the foundations of what they base their happiness on. Don’t be an arrogant dick that thinks you know better, chances are your ‘enlightenment’ is equally silly to some other more ‘enlightened’ person and it all is bullshit in the end anyway.
  21. Stop seeing ‘enlightenment’ or ‘knowledge’ as a way to have power over others. It is not a competition or a tool, it’s utility is the value it adds to your experience.
  22. Healthy habits do nothing for your overall state of mind in the moment but do affect them in the long run, cultivate good habits.
  23. Never hold onto something so much that you end up defining yourself around that thing. What we call the self is nothing more than a set of contextualized memories. Fixating on one and making it the dominant narrative in your life will make it consume you.
  24. Be willing and open to admitting to others that you need them in your life (and that they play an important part). Your super impressive fiercely independent wall of strength is all a facade. Stop being so full of shit.
  25. Assume positive intent in all actions. When malice is proven beyond reasonable doubt, frame those people’s actions in context of the suffering of that person.
  26. Don’t take reflections on your character as criticism, they are the small nuggets of feedback that help you progress with a higher sense of self.
  27. Never place love on a pedestal that discourages self knowledge and authenticity in your relationship.
  28. If you do not explain you can never be understood. Talk about what you feel regardless of how silly you feel.
  29. Don’t worry about being strange or different. That is actually awesome and whilst it will take a long time to understand it should be celebrated.
  30. <Insert any goal> is not a destination, it is a direction. Stop framing stuff in black and white and see it as the journey to be experienced.